The rules of Secret Santa, and the ones worth adding
Secret Santa has only a handful of rules. Groups get into trouble not by breaking them but by never agreeing on the details. Settle these before the draw and the rest runs itself.
The basic rules
- Everyone gives one gift and receives one. Each person draws exactly one name and is drawn by exactly one person.
- The draw is secret. You know whom you are buying for; nobody else does, including the organizer.
- Nobody draws themselves. A proper draw makes sure of it.
- There is a budget, and it is a ceiling. Spending more than the limit is as much a breach as spending nothing.
- There is a date. Gifts are exchanged on one agreed day, so nobody is left waiting.
Decide these before you draw
Who is in. Ask people first. Nobody should find out they are taking part from a link.
The budget. Choose an amount the person with the least to spend is comfortable with.
Exclusions. Couples, housemates and people who already swap gifts usually prefer not to draw each other. Add those pairs before the draw, not after.
Wishlists. Decide whether people should fill one in. It makes buying far easier and does not spoil anything: you still do not know who is buying for you.
How the gifts are handed over. In person, left under a tree with a name tag, or sent by post for a remote group.
Whether to reveal the givers
There are two traditions. In one, each giver stays anonymous for good, and the tag says only who the gift is for. In the other, people guess their Santa as they open the gift, or everyone reveals themselves at the end. Either works; say which you are doing so nobody signs a card by mistake.
When someone drops out
If nobody has opened their link yet, delete the group, create it again without that person and send the new links. Once people have seen their names, a new draw would spoil the secret. In that case the simplest fix is for the organizer to quietly pass the missing person's name to whoever was due to receive from them, or to buy that one gift from the group's kitty.
Common variations
Some groups add a theme (something handmade, something for the desk), a rule that gifts must be funny, or a round of guessing. Variations are fine as long as everyone hears about them before buying.
Ready to start? Use the Secret Santa generator, or read how to run a virtual Secret Santa for a remote team.
Frequently asked questions
Can the organizer take part?
Yes. The draw is made by the server, and the organizer's page shows only who has opened their link, never the pairs. The organizer gets a private link like everyone else.
How many people do you need?
At least three. With two people there is no secret. There is no real upper limit; large offices often run one exchange per department to keep it personal.
What if there is an odd number of people?
It makes no difference. Secret Santa is a chain, not a set of pairs: Ana buys for Ben, Ben buys for Chloe, Chloe buys for Ana.
Can two people draw each other?
They can, unless you prevent it. Our generator stops mutual pairs by default in groups of three or more, so the exchange does not split into closed pairs.